Relationships are like that, very fragile. You start off getting to know each other. You discover things you have in common, and you explore new things that you might both enjoy. Remember, you're still dealing with two people, each with their own personality, aspirations, etc...Too much pressure, or lack of involvement, from one or the other and 'flop', ruined.
You may be the one left with the mess. If you are you may be thinking of getting back at your Ex when the truth is you would rather get back together with your Ex. The truth is that getting mad, or getting even, never really gives you what you want - a relationship.
In fact the best way to get back at your Ex may actually result in you getting your Ex back. The key here is putting your Ex in a place where they feel the loss and may even have the desire to get back what they have lost.
Here are Five steps to follow:
1. You must be strong not needy. This is true if you hope to get back together and more so if there is no chance at all that you will get back together. You must stop looking weak - begging, pleading, clinging, and looking desperate. People in general, and future relationships in particular, are attracted to confident people. It is really hard to appear confident and together when you look desperate and weak.
You should appear strong and confident, like you've moved on. Next you should become confident because you have moved on. The rule here is "fake it 'til you make it." When you've moved on your Ex will realize that there was more to you than they perceived and that they have not moved on.
2. Become A Mystery. You really need to stop all communication and contact with your Ex. Sometimes this is hard because you and your Ex still go to the same places. That's fine, say "hello" and move on. Focus your attention on the people you're with and not your Ex. More on this in the Third step.
3. Staying Calm, Cool And Collected. Become 'easy going' with your Ex. Be flexible not forceful. If you are still living together do not demand that your Ex pick up, clean up, or move out. This can be a challenge and may require you to make serious changes. If you are separated physically and run into each other then say "hello" pleasantly, and move on. If your Ex wants to talk, then listen and quickly empathize, then move on. Don't get into a discussion, and DO NOT discuss your past together, this is not the time for that.
This may surprise your Ex and result in a desire to rebuild your relationship together. A little mystery goes a long way, and right now you are not a mystery to your Ex. So change that, be 'easy going' but 'unavailable for comment'.
4. Carpe Diem - Seize The Day, live your life, now. This is not the time to stay home and be depressed. Get up and go to work. Work hard, throw yourself into it like never before. Then, go out with friends. See a movie. Hang out at a coffee shop. Go out and eat and just stay and talk. Just go do something! The opposite sex may not provide good opportunities to you right now, but that's fine, spend time with friends. Friends unavailable? Make some new friends!
5. Be yourself. Often in relationships you can become what the two of you needed. That's alright, compromise is part of relationship - a little from him, a little from her. But sometimes one person, you, has done all the compromising and you forget who you really are. Other times you both have compromised, but the person you were when you were together is different from who you are on your own.
Go back to being just you. Stop and think about your life before you got together. And remember, there was something about you that attracted your Ex to you. Go back to being yourself and give your Ex the opportunity to remember why he/she fell in love with you in the first place.
You get to choose. Do you really want to get back at your Ex or do you want your Ex back. Getting Back at your Ex and getting your Ex back both require the same attitude and actions on your part. Independence and self reliance are extremely attractive qualities when someone, like your Ex, hasn't seen them for a while. The breakup may have been your Ex's idea, but the choice to get back together or not is yours.
Knowledge is power, if you're interested in learning how to create and build a strong relationship check this out. I wish you all the best!